Earlier, after having a glass of wine and watching a movie with John called Ink, I nearly fell asleep with a drum on my tummy. I was listening to reggae and screwing around on the djembe. Gradually, I got tired and laid down with it, so if that says anything about the day...
Got up... sometime. None of the clocks in this place are set or in sync. Made coffee, ate some frosted flakes, and sat on the futon being anxious and whining for awhile. John and I went to the Rec, and, as usual, some exercise made me feel right again. I swam about forty-five minutes, 'bout 25 laps. It felt so good. Swimming for me is not like other exercise, which hypes me up, but it calms me down instead. The sunlight was hitting the water at such an angle that when I was doing the breaststroke, every time I bobbed my head under water all I saw were a million little light bubbles floating among the blue. It made me downright giddy, which isn't really an emotion I experience with frequency.
This afternoon consisted of reading and doing housework intermittently, with the emphasis more on the reading. I read a short novel today called Las batallas en el desierto. All the talk of illicit love that one can't really do anything about made me upset, and I had to take a nap so I would wake up with that loop no longer playing in my head. It was a good book, about a kid growing up in WWII Mexico. Interesting, the focus wasn't on the war, but an adolescent's first encounter with the emotions of being in love. It was really heartbreaking he couldn't get the girl, even though he was a child and she was about twenty years older. Still, the descriptions... I think it makes a statement that the author chose to focus on love instead of war. Kinda saying... what's important in war times is still not war. It's love. Speaking of which... Carly got me these shoes for Christmas that say "Make art not war" on them. Anyway-
Had leftover chili and grilled cheese for dinner. Oh yeah, lol, I was watching the latest episode of Desperate Housewives on Hulu and insisted that John make my sandwich and bring all my food to me. Well, before you judge... five minutes before I made that demand, he stood in the kitchen demanding to know when I was going to make the pot of potato soup. A grilled cheese sandwich takes a lot less time and mess than soup, so I don't want to hear it.
Moped around awhile, bored. Then we watched that movie. It was OK. I mean, to me the whole topic of consciousness/subconsciousness, beings and different versions of ourselves existing simultaneously in different planes is just... well, durrr... I believe it happens. It's so much a part of my worldview, though, that these "mind bogglers" as they try to be are just... lame. The movie was OK, but they shouldn't get too many extra points for originality, that's all I'm saying.
Then it was drum time. Part of that whole be-me-do-me resolution. Won't go into the details of why I did or why I wouldn't without the resolution. Point being, I played. Then we went to Kroger to get some coffee for the morning, came back, I played piano awhile. But by this time I was getting so tired I was fucking up excessively.
Other resolutions:
Did nothing with #1, no push-ups today. Nothing w/ #2, no research on study abroad trips. #3 Back pain- not yet, although I am going to stretch right after this. #4- piano and drumming. Well, that was sort of aimed at the pain reduction, too. Sometimes just calming down and being really present helps me to untense.
Anyflip, nite.
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