Impossibility of Staying in Skin

I sort of hate using this blog again. I really liked doing them on MySpace, where I could limit who could see what. And I know, it's like... why don't you just journal, then? All I can say is I do, it's different, and I prefer this sometimes. I'll try not to be too offensive knowing that this is visible to others, but if I do say something upsetting, please just know that I write first and foremost for myself. Expressions of anger and other negative emotions will sometimes be inflated by virtue of what I'm doing.

Anyway, that said, I'm getting ready to go back to Paden City tomorrow, though I'd kind of like to go today. I'm not doing anything here really anyway, and I'm bored and lonely. John's off on a research trip, and Jesse isn't feeling well. I ought to get started on my research papers, but everyone knows what a procrastinator I am.

I'm going to meet Maureen down at Zenclay at noon for coffee, and as she put it, "so I'm not just sitting alone with my computer all day." Seriously... what about these computers? I feel like there's been a real shift in these social networking sites. What started off as ''awesome" is now irritating to most. I tend to be a shy but outgoing person, and I like talking to people online. But that peeves people sometimes.

I don't know what all I really feel like I can share on here. The thing is, I'd throw my whole soul out into cyberspace and let you all pick it apart if you cared to do so, but I know there are people in my life who don't want their shit out there. So, maybe I'll share some poems. Maybe this won't last long. Who knows? I just felt like doing it this morning.

Here's a poem I wrote in the car in the Rec parking lot yesterday.

Seduction

You seduced me
under a watercolor sky, said--
come to me.
And we were together
there by the river,
and my knees hit asphalt, hard.
You were so much more
than my sense could handle,
and I stopped
to take all of You in.
You drew me out,
and I've been chasing you
ever since.
Trying to hold You is like...
the impossibility of staying in skin.